Results for “wanks”

Transcript of a CNN panel discussing President Whitmore’s speech given on July 4, 1996 concerning an alien invasion

President Whitmore is speaking. He’s in a little box in the corner of the TV screen and the chyron reads “President tries to put mishandling of alien invasion behind him, outline new focus.” A stock ticker and a promo for an upcoming special CNN Reports: Aliens Invade – Crisis from the Sky are also onscreen.

“… vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive. Today we celebrate our independence day!”

Cutaway to the studio as Whitmore finishes and before crowd’s cheers begin

Wolf Blitzer President Whitmore has just made another attempt to revive... More

We need to talk

Dear “Resistance,” we need to talk.

Since the early days of the Trump campaign, a pattern has emerged.

Trump does or says something, you erupt in fury. The press and anti-Trumpers frantically clutch at their pearls as they dramatically plunge down upon their fainting couches like Margaret Dumont, barely able to mutter “well I never!”

The networks immediately begin flood-the-zone coverage. We’re subjected to Wolf Blitzer intoning gravely to a stoney-faced panel of political experts who, naturally, represent the full spectrum of viewpoints from A to B.

“So, in your estimation is Trump stupid, evil, or some combination of... More

The Backlash Awakens

I spent the holiday around my 3-year-old nephew.

While he is very cute, with sandy brown hair and vivid blue eyes, he’s also like all children, a child. That means that he’s entirely at the sway of his emotions. One morning he said he wanted yogurt for breakfast. My brother didn’t have any.

What followed was a slow-motion deterioration over about a half hour that led into a full tantrum. It’s said we grow out of this.

Maybe, in the sense that we generally don’t throw tantrums, but the underlying pattern is there. We dress it up in reason and... More

Updated for her pleasure

As part of the Davidputney.com policy of constantly updating the site, we have updated the site.

  • We have completely rewritten the site’s JavaScript. For the less tech-oriented out there, JavaScript is the code that among other things controls the performance-sapping, battery-draining, processor hogging animations we have gratuitously sprinkled throughout the site to surprise and delight our readers. The code is much better from a purely academic best-practices standpoint, and it’s more efficient.
  • We once again rewrote the site headers and navigation so that the animations will be smoother, and as a side benefit, the HTML code at... More

Apple Watch, revisited

I work many mornings from a coffee shop near my apartment before heading into the office.

When people come in for coffee, being Americans, they politely form a rigidly hierarchical queue. And being Americans in 2016, they almost immediately pull out their phone and start fiddling with it.

We’re less than a decade into the smartphone era, and the device has become so ingrained in our lives that spending a few minutes with our own thoughts is less compelling than what’s on our magic internet-connected pocket computer.

I mention this not to judge my fellow humans (for a... More

Leaves you with nothing, mister

On a lovely early fall day in 1992, I was walking across campus.

It was move-in day at Eastern Illinois University. I’d just unloaded my meager possessions from the back of my aging beige hatchback and was wandering around taking in the sights.

The day was warm and the leaves had not yet started to change. Dozens of students were wandering around. Families were disgorging belongings from the backs of minivans and trucks.

Posters and fliers covered buildings and bulletin boards. The ‘92 election was a couple months away, so Bill Clinton placards were up all over.

The opening notes... More

25 years

Twenty-five years ago right around the time I write this I was sitting in my first college class.

Turns out, it was a key moment of my life.

It’s not often that something like this can be so easily pegged to a particular date. In this case I can recall it because bluesman Stevie Ray Vaughn had died the night before.

A quote from Vaughn was written across the blackboard of my Journalism 121 class. The professor, a blues fan, was especially hit. “Awful,” he said to the class. “And right after he’d cleaned up.”

Indeed.

The untimely death of... More

Ship of fools

It was supposed to just be a tech revision, a release I’d dubbed Davidputney.com Snow Leopard.

But my penchant for tinkering has once again outrun my good sense. So this site also has a visual refresh, too. In fact, Davidputney.com has been visually refreshed more times than Katherine Helmond in Brazil. it’s more of ship of Theseus in that it isn’t the same site any more.

Here was what it looked like when I launched it last fall. Since then a bunch of it has been rewritten to take advantage of modern browser technologies.1 I’ve changed... More

Feed me

My friend Eric went viral this week.

That’s not a euphemism for some sort of dread disease. His Millennials to Snake People Chrome plugin became fodder for the Viral Internet Journalism Industrial Complex.

In reality, it’s actually pretty cool to suddenly see something you made referred to and linked all over the place. I was minorly internet famous because of UX from hell, a piece I did about bad UX on news sites. But it was but a mere fraction of the scale of his plugin fame.

His creation is a Chrome plugin that converts “millennials” and variations... More

Just nice enough

The Apple Watch is very nice.

It’s nice to use. It feels nice on your arm. It looks nice, too, and is quite nicely built. It’s surprisingly nice to make phone calls from, and it’s a nice way to get notifications on the go.

The haptic feedback buzz feels nice when a new push alert pops in. The alert sounds are nice, and the digital crown has a nice smooth, precision feel when rotated. The inductive charger that effortlessly drops into place is very nice compared with the fiddly plug on a cell phone.

Even the packaging is nice. All... More

Everyone’s a hero in his own way

You’ve watched the scene a million times on TV or in movies.

Two characters with differing opinions get into an argument, and one of them, through the power of their words, changes the other’s mind. Maybe we like that so much because it so rarely happens in real life.

Both parties tend to leave thinking they were right. And stay that way.

That’s something I’ve been thinking about every since I saw Jeffrey Zeldman’s opening keynote at An Event Apart Boston on Monday. His speech was framed as “advice to up-and-coming” designers, but it worked for an mid-career old(ish) guy... More

In which I engage in self abuse

I’ve become Internet famous in the past few days.

I’d always hoped it would be because I pulled a really good internet prank. Turns out it was because I wrote a blog post.

So far, it’s be tweeted out or linked from Harvard’s Nieman Lab and included in their e mail newsletter, it made Neiman Labs’ Fuego, and has been shared by Commarts.com, NewsWhip, PBS Idea Lab, PBS Mediashift and by countless editors and designers. Tweets about the post have been linked to, favorited and retweeted more times than I can count. As of this... More