Key lime pie is quite literally the very best thing that you can put in your mouthhole. ¹ Well, proper key lime pie that is.

Restaurant key lime pie has left many with the impression that it’s something with the consistency of primary school paste dyed nuclear green and infused with lime-flavored petroleum distillates.

And, for god sakes, do not get your key lime pie out a can.

This is America. We can do better. Granted, our presidential nomination process gave us a choice between a thin-lipped scold and a professional wrestling announcer. But key... More

Would you serve frozen turkey roll heated in a microwave to guests?

No. No, you would not. Proper Thanksgiving tradition calls for a bespoke meal – gravy made from turkey drippings in a cast-iron skillet, stuffing made from toasted and hand-torn bread, a freshly roasted golden-brown bird, and casserole made from canned soup, green beans and fried onions. Well, three out of four ain’t bad.

Yet people buy millions of tons of canned cranberry sauce to serve to guests. This is not only sad but also very, very wrong. We serve beloved family members ¹ who have... More